Funhaus on Let's Play: WHALE CANNON in GTA 5!
Gentlemen! On 18 June in this year of our lord 1815, at Waterloo in Belgium we shall engage the dastardly Napoleon in what, we all hope, may be the end to this interminable war.
Our whole force does not exceed 65,000 men, who are fatigued in the utmost and encumbered with knapsacks and other luggage. However, the most burdensome of all is the artillery: some eight-score of cannon, and its shot. Carrying these items through village and across the bloody Continent has been quite the trial I admit you - but all was not in vain.
Now we shall surprize old Boney, for the shot is not normal roundshot or cannonballs! No, for him we have brought ammunition most obscure, wonderful, and unusual - we shall be launching, through our gunnery, animals at the French.
Imagine the shock that will shew on Marshal Davout's face when a 180-tonne blue whale launches into his prize cavalry! Imagine the terror on Ney's and Grouchy's when a brace of sharks come from our guns!
But not all our shot is comprized of fishes of the seas! Stout cows, cats, monkeys from Afrika all will rocket across the battlefield to work their havoc on the French lines!! So be not afraid, sons of England! Waterloo shall be a veritable zoological garden of meyhem.
God save the King!