TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

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from Arroyo Grande, CA

  • Activity

    • Passing

      3 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      I wasn't going to post anything on the passing of Monty Oum. I didn't know him personally and can't possibly be effected by his passing as anyone who did. I felt it would be a dishonor to put up a pretense of concern by making a "heart felt" journal entry, so I was content to let it go by.

      Even today, the day of the announcement, I requested a name change and posted a journal about it, business as usually. An ironic phrase given that what little I know about him, busy-ness was what he was all about. So it's that dedication to work that is the reason I felt the need to make a post. It was in my curiousity about how the world was taking the news that I found a blog post from Monty dated the 6th of October, 2012. The link will follow and contains his thoughts on life and death.

      So, although I still do not feel that I have the right to say any words in honor of Month Oum, so I'll simply use his own.

      Passing

      Can you match my resolve?

      If so then you will succeed.

      I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death.


      Month Oum
      (June 22, 1981 '“ February 1, 2015)

    • 4 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      A Presidential Election is like the Olympics. Every 4 years people passionately discuss topics they know nothing about.

    • Fidescient

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      The belief that a negative situation will be fine because someone smarter than you is working on the problem. From Latin Fide, meaning Faith, and Scientia, meaning knowledge. Literally, Faith in Knowledge.

    • Short Story Part 1

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      Rick was a quiet and intelligent person. He was handsome but not overly attractive and always put a lot of thought and effort into how he looked, his body and what he wore. As he sat at the table drinking his coffee and casually reading his college textbook one of his roommates, Sara, came into the kitchen. Sara was short and gorgeous. She had tan skin, brown hair, blue eyes, and small but perky breasts. Sara, like Rick, put a lot of thought into how she looked. However, while Rick focused more on his clothing and hair, Sara focused more on her body. She worked out, ran, and ate right. But despite all of her efforts, every once in a great while she couldn't help but think of life if she had a different body. Most of the time she was happy with her appearance, but whenever she felt lonely she would dream of looking different. She would wonder what it would be like to be the All-American girl, with fair skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. Today was one of those days for Sara. Her best friend, the All-American girl, had just posted pictures online of her new boyfriend. The guy was in Sara's English class. Not only was he handsome with a great body, but he was nice, charming, funny, and smart. Sara know that it was stupid to be jealous of her friend but couldn't help shake the feeling. And part of that feeling was that her friend got a guy like that because of how she looked. So, as Sara walked into the kitchen she brought her cloud of emotion with her. As Rick continued to thumb through his textbook he noticed Sara come in but didn't notice the emotion she brought with her. Sara quietly sat at the table with Rick before turning towards him and asking, "Rick, can I ask you something?'

      Rick looked up at Sara and for the first time noticed the look on her face.

      "Here we go' he said closing his text book.

      "Excuse me?'

      "If we're going to do this we're doing it Hannibal Lector style. Quid Pro Quo.'

      "Excuse me?' asked Sara again. Not understanding.

      Rick adjusted himself in his seat to better face Sara. "You obviously have a lot of questions on your mind. So, if you want me to answer them I get to ask some of my own. I'll be completely honest with you, but you have to do the same. Also, whether you like the answer or not, you have to accept it.'

      Sara thought for a moment. "Alright.'

      Rick breathed a heavy sigh. He didn't like to get too deep with people he didn't know, and although he and Sara lived together, Rick never took an interest in getting to know his roommates. He had hoped to dissuade her with the deal but now it backfired and he was stuck. "Go ahead,' he said. "You get the first question.'

      Sara though for a moment before looking up at Rick. "What do guys want?'

      Rick was taken aback. He wasn't expecting her to get so deep or to be genuine in her question. He know that Sara spent a lot of time focused on her looks and thought she would be superficial. He didn't think she would have any problems getting guys, or that she would care so deeply about what they thought. Rick put his hand on his chin and thought for a moment. He believed that Sara wanted a deep answer to her question and wanted to give her the best one. After a bit of though Rick looked back up at Sara. "Let me ask my first question to you. What do women want?'

      This time Sara was taken aback. She thought Rick had been thinking about her question and was expecting a good answer, not another question. She sat for a moment thinking, not wanting to answer Rick's question before he answered her. And not knowing what answer to give if she did. Before she could say anything, Rick interrupted her thought.

      "Not so easy to answer is it? It's because it's something that Men and Women don't seem to realize about each other. That the people of the opposite sex are people too. Everyone has a mother and a father. Some people knew theirs, some people didn't. Some had great relationships with them, some had terrible relationships with them, some people had a good relationship with one and a bad relationship with the other. And most had a mix of both with both. Everyone grows up with experiences and those experiences shape preference, thoughts, and dreams. Those unique experiences also create something. Unique people. So, it's not easy to answer what any one group of people want, especially something as broad as all men and all women.'

      Sara sat silently, thinking about what Rick had said.

      "But I can offer you something.'

      Rick pulled out his smart phone and started typing.

    • The Story with No Name

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      Yesterday I was at a boutique store with my brother (because I'm a pompous douche, not him), and I was looking at their large cheese section. I was spending way too much time trying to select the most fitting of cheeses for the occasion, the occasion being casual eating throughout the week, when I turned to my brother and asked which one I should get. He looked at me and very honestly answered, "I don't know cheeses, good, bad, or ugly." He then cracked the most stupid grin he could, obviously waiting for me to get a joke that didn't make sense. After a moment I told him I got the reference but didn't see how this pertained to cheese. He then dropped the grin, turned towards the cheese, and stated very matter-of-fact, "Well, you can get this one for a fist full of dollars, or this one for a few dollars more."

    • Thanks RT Podcast

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      Star Wars Episode I was released May 19th, 1999. I was 9 years old. I remember watching it and thinking it was amazing. Even at 23, I still did. I watched if for the first time in '99 and hadn't watched it since. I've heard people talk about the movie as being so bad but I've never understood what they meant. The combination of being 9 years old at the time and having 14 years to forget any crap I may have seen insured that I would only think of Episode I with fond memory. Since then I've promised myself I wouldn't watch Episode I again. I wanted to hold onto the memory of every Star Wars movie as being amazing. But tonight as I was watching the RT Podcast, they linked the Keira knightly and Natalie Portman video. After watching Keira Knightly do her best Pinocchio impression (almost human but just shy and significantly wooden) I have officially had my childhood memory of Star Wars fucked in the mouth.

    • On Writing and Drawing

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      I was just reading the FAQ of Two Guys and Guy (http://www.twogag.com/) and something the creator, Rickard Jonasson, said jumped out at me. "...something every aspiring artist should ask themselves is; "do I actually like to draw, or do I just like the idea of drawing?""

      I thought it was a good question for all writers and aspiring writers to ask themselves as well. Do I actually like to write, or do I just like the idea of writing? If the answer is "no" then you may want to reconsider pursuing it. If only everyone where to ask themselves that question about whatever it is they want to do. Do I actually like (X), or do I just like the idea of (X)?

    • A Word on Words.

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      Words. The combination of symbols or sounds used to convey an idea. Although the basic building blocks of communication are even smaller than letters, a word is the smallest unit that can be convey thought. In the English language words are made up of letters. A combination of 26+ characters that are arranged in such a way as to allow the reader to understand the writers meaning. Writing, in it's most basic form is just words. And if writing is to be effective it must follow the structure of a word.

      The reader reads a word starting at the first letter and going to the last. Each letter builds on the previous one in order to create a whole unit that conveys the intended meaning of the writer. W-O-R-D-S form together to make: words. If any one of these letters were removed, or if any letter was added, it would change the meaning of the word or make it confusing to the reader. Writing then, should follow the example of words. Each sentence should build on the previous one in order to clearly get across the message of the writer. Any added sentence where there shouldn't be one, absent sentence where it is necessary, or misplaced sentence where it should be somewhere else will confuse the reader and lessen your writing. And if you repeat this process for paragraphs, chapters, even volumes and you will have a story that is complete unto itself. There will be nothing in your story that is unnecessary, nothing missing, and nothing in the wrong spot. Even the story itself will be easily written.

      Where do I begin?
      At the beginning. No need to add letters at the beginning that aren't part of the word. So, no need to add anything to the beginning that isn't part of the current story.

      Where do I end?
      When what you wanted to say has been said. Letters tacked onto the end of a word change it's meaning. So, added sentences, paragraphs, or chapters beyond the ending of the current story will change it, possibly to something you didn't intend it to be.

      How do I get from beginning to ending?
      Connect them in a way that makes sense. Every letter is there to convey a words meaning and they are there for a reason. Any ideas, as interesting as they may be, that do not contribute to your story, leave out, and add in anything that will be necessary to convey your purpose.

      And finally, learn how to end. After a word has been written or a story has been told, find that place where nothing more can, or should, be said, and stop.

    • Guns are Scary

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      A few years ago I worked for a liquor store. It was on a street without a lot of traffic, and we would close about 11pm. So, every night would be the night I was sure I was going to get held up. Well, one night a group of rather suspect individuals came in, so I watched them the entire time they were in the store, with my hand on the hidden "get the police here now!" button. The whole event ended up being really anti-climactic as they just bought liquor and left. Later that night, just before I was about to leave for the evening, the phone started ringing. I hesitated for a moment before deciding to answer it.

      The picked up the phone and said, "[name omitted] Market".

      "Who is this?" ask the lady on the other end.

      "Brandon, may I ask who's calling?"

      "Hello Brandon, this is [name forgotten] with the county dispatch. There are police outside."

      After jumping through some hoops to make sure I wasn't robbing the place the lady finally told me to go outside. I exited the little market and was met with 3 rather bright flashlights shining on me from about 10 yards away. I walked out to meet the police and was suddenly struck with the realization "there are guns behind those lights".

      The police ended up identifying me as the guy who worked there and letting me go home. It turned out that before I left I had accidentally pushed the alarm button I had my hand on earlier. Ironic, my fear of having a gun pulled on me resulted in having 3 guns pulled on me.

    • My Sister is a Bitch

      5 years ago

      TurnerBurn Funnier in editing.

      So I was talking to my sister a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about attractiveness and intelligence. She and my brother apparently had a meeting without me and decided that out of the 3 of us I was the smartest. She said that despite this I don't know how to tone it down so it makes me socially awkward to be around. She said "You're a really handsome guy and I'm sure a lot of girls look at you and think 'Wow he's hot!'...And then you start talking and they're like 'nope!'."

  • About Me

  • Comments (21)

    • theindiealto FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Half Shark

      3 years ago

      ew

      • theindiealto FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Half Shark

        3 years ago

        I'm a lovable cunt.

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        3 years ago

        You're a cunt.

      • theindiealto FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Half Shark

        3 years ago

        <3

    • Dylan FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Davesexual

      4 years ago

      hWJbMBW.jpg

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        4 years ago

        Hahaha, I don't even know what this means!

    • AlexisG118

      4 years ago

      -__- Ryan getting backstabbed by the enderman wasn't the only funny thing in the video

      • AlexisG118

        4 years ago

        Okay thank you for understanding and really that's how i am with anything i like, i can't take criticism on anything i like,(negative criticism that is) that's an unfortunate insecurity that i have.

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        4 years ago

        Listen, I realize that the guys at RT/AH make content that you enjoy. And that by being a part of this community, you begin to feel very personally about the content that they make. I can understand that when a person criticizes (or obnoxiously comments on) something you enjoy that it can feel like a personal attack. And I can understand that you want to defend the people who create things that you enjoy. But, as Ryan said on The Patch one time, we can both have differing opinions on the things each other like and we can still be affable people. Also, I didn't dislike the video. I think that everything leading up to that moment was just going through the motions, but that moment, and everything that happened after made the first part of the video worth watching. So, let's agree to disagree.

        Post edited 9/09/14 1:21AM

      • AlexisG118

        4 years ago

        If you didn't like the video why did you watch it if the only thing you thought was funny was Ryan getting killed by the enderman that's a pretty sad actually also no hand in creating? why did you say that? also "hm" what do you mean by that?

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        4 years ago

        You felt the need to come to my profile, and leave me a comment expressing your opinion regarding my opinion of something you had no hand in creating?

        Hm.

    • McSpanky1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      5 years ago

      A shirt that suits you so perfectly.

      Teeeease It

    • Zodiark

      5 years ago

      Made you look.

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        5 years ago

        You're a piece of poopoo.

    • WomanFriday Writer, Wife, Woman

      5 years ago

      Clinging to your guns and religion, eh? :)

      • WomanFriday Writer, Wife, Woman

        5 years ago

        Haha! There are ups and downs to all sides, really. The way you wrote it was just too good to pass up, though. :)

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        5 years ago

        Yeah, it's a joke based on something President Obama said during last years presidential race.

    • Brett2105

      5 years ago

      you posted the link to the bear video
      thank you so much

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        5 years ago

        Oh no prob.

      • Brett2105

        5 years ago

        the bear trampoline on a horse clip a while back

      • TurnerBurn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Funnier in editing.

        5 years ago

        Bear video? What did I post it on?

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