robertraish FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

Male
from Garden City, CO

  • Activity

    • 30/06/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      30/06/14

      I really need to try to write this thing about meaning of life. It is central to everything. I think I might just try an outline here. This is just going to be rambling, but hopefully in the end there is a little bit of a rational thought.
      So when Frankel had nothing in the concentration camp he "discovered' that the only meaning he could find in his life was through his relationships to others. This is a complete rephrasing, but I am going to try to see how I can apply his vague ideas to my life. Many people find meaning in so many other things, but when stripped of everything there was two options; to find meaning centered around himself or to find meaning among others. Many others choose to find this meaning centered about themselves. Even an individual has nothing or everything they may still feel as if they are owed something by life. But some people choose to provide to those around them. They are not necessarily acting purely altruistically, but their meaning of life comes from providing something to somebody else. This might prove the pure altruism cannot exist. I think that is what I might have proven. Now I am not saying that people only derive meaning for their lives in one way or the other, but these are the two extremes. Depending on the point in their life and their circumstance one may slide from one extreme to the other. I have seen it happen within a matter of minutes in some people. In the end I want to live my life as much as possible on the providing for others spectrum.
      Ok. So it decided that I want to live my life this way and I have attempted to live most of my life in this way. How do I best serve those around me? The answer for me is empathy. I need to be able to empathize with others in order to help them. This way I do not impose my own ideals and what I believe to the "correct' way on others. Last year I changed my teaching philosophy to providing students tools to become a better person. Originally it was to help students become better people, but that is assuming I know what it means to be a better person to them. So I help provide the people around me with tools to become a better person. A better person to themselves, not a better person to me. Of course there is a limit to this. I do not want someone to do this at the expense of others to the point where it will irreversibly damage one of the parties. So I need empathy in order to see what others need to best help themselves. Thankfully I love and teach mathematics which has some pretty universal lessons which almost anyone can use to help make themselves better people. Thinking about this it sounds like I am imposing logic on those that I teach and that is ok to me. I realize that every has their own logic system and I am supposed to help them develop their own logic system. Part of a good logic system is that is lies within the social norms in which an individual lives. It might sound weird, but trust me I have thought about this a lot. Let's get back to empathy. I just finished reading the first three books of the Ender's series and somewhere in the first or second book, I think it was the second book, Ender says that in order to understand someone you must love them. He was referring to understanding an enemy in order to destroy them, but the idea is extremely powerful. In order to empathize with someone one must love them. Of course there are different types of love and different levels of love in each type of love, but in the end love is central to developing these relationships and for me to gain the most meaning for my own life from them. We do this by empathizing with others and understanding them. We do not need to agree with them, but at least attempting to see where they are coming from. Atticus Finch taught me the importance of this back when I was 12 or however old I was. It is still my favorite book to this day and I have read it over a dozen times at this point. What Finch's character did not teach me was that love was central to achieving true empathy. Maybe it was obvious and I was just missing it, but maybe I should reread it now to see if is obvious now.
      I think I could talk about love for a while, but let's just talk about the main idea that has been floating around my head for a while. In order to empathize with someone you must love them, but in order to love them you need to empathize with them. It might appear that this is one of those circular paradoxes, but to me it is not circular or a paradox. It starts with empathy and from there love grows, but to completely empathize with someone that love must exist. For mutual love to exist there must be mutual empathy at it's root. So this empathy grows through multiple ways, but here are the main ones that I have thought of: shared experiences, shared interests, similar philosophies, similar morals. Not all of these things need to exist for a relationship to contain true love, but it can start with these things. For example my brother who I love dearly does not share the same philosophies or interests as me, but we have shared experiences and similar morels. There are people that share my same interests, but I do not even enjoy being around. I think this is a good start. I need to elaborate on certain things, but the main idea is there.

    • 13/06/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      13/06/14

      I am not sure why I did not write much in the last few days. I guess part of the reason is that I have been reading a lot more. I think I have finished two books and one audiobook since I have written last. I finished The Fault in Our Stars today. I also read Call of the Wild and finished Ender's Game today. I started the sequel to Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, today. So a lot of reading.
      I have also been catching up on Weeds. I have not done much of anything productive for my life in the last few days. I have been waiting for my damn transcripts to come from Albany so I can fill out that damn SOE form. As soon as that is done I can start moving on my application. I have also not studied for the Praxis as much as I should. I am planning on taking a practice Praxis tomorrow. I think I will go to the coffee shop as soon as I am done walking Scout and a quick shower. Maybe more than a quick shower. I really need to wash my hair. I do not know why, but I keep coming up for reasons not to wash my hair. It has been a week as of today so that is gross. I need to do better with that. I really need to force myself to not go back to bed after feeding Scout. I was still so tired and tempted to when I got back from walking Scout this morning, but I did not. I really need to keep this sleeping schedule. As a result though I had a really bad headache all day. Oh yeah, I baby sat Riordan for about 4 hours today. That was kind of fun. He was kind of fussy, but I got him to nap twice for about a total of 1.75 hours. We worked on crawling and he almost had it. I would say he crawled a foot today. Maybe not crawled, but moved in a forward direction one foot at least. It was fun and exciting to see. That is kind surprising to me that I found it exciting. Oh well I am becoming a different person in a good way. Well I am going to hop in the shower and get to bed. Should I watch some Weeds or read some more. I guess Weeds. Good night.

    • 09/06/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      09/06/14

      I have not been feeling well today. I did not really get anything done other than a few things around the house. I cleaned the floors on the first floor and made dinner, but other than that I did not do much. I have a head cold or something. There is a lot of pressure in my nasal cavity and feels pretty deep for some reason. I watched some Weeds and that was good. I think I am going to lay down and try to watch some more before I get to bed.
      I have been so tired all day. I did go back to sleep after letting Scout out, but I did not take him for a walk. My knee is feeling much better and I am hoping it is a 100% by tomorrow morning. I really want to go for that walk tomorrow. My plan is to go see Spiderman 2 as a matinee, but I need to go over Westminster to do that. That is fine though. I am meeting with Jenny Jones tomorrow at 11:00am and then after that I will get lunch. After lunch I will probably drive over to Westminster to find the theatre. I will probably hang out somewhere over there. See if I can find a coffee shop or something near by.
      I think I am going to start something by Jack London on my Kindle tomorrow. I forget which novel of his is on the Kindle, but either way it should be good. I do not think anything else happened this today. Well me brain not work well so me go lay bed now.

    • 08/06/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      8/6/14

      Today has been a lazy Sunday. It has been raining out all day today and I slept in. Kind of slept in. I got up at 6:00 to let Scout out and feed him, but then I went back to bed. I did get to sleep eventually, but did not get good sleep. I still woke up in the middle of the night again, but this time it was closer to four. I should try to explain my 3 stages of sleep I experience while I have some time. The first stage is not sleeping at all and involves me just lying in bed not doing anything, but thinking. This is how I start out each night. The length of this can vary from night to night. Sometimes lasting all night and sometimes for 3 minutes. I would say this typically lasts about 45 minutes to an hour though. I then usually fall asleep and that is the best. This is the second type of sleep. I do not remember any of it and it is the most refreshing. When I do wake up in the middle of the night it is usually in the form of lucid dreaming. This is the final type of sleeping I experience. It does not feel refreshing when I do this all night, which happens a lot. I am not sure how long I do this, but sometimes I am pretty sure sometimes it happens all night. It is more refreshing than just lying there, but I am acutely aware of the fact that I am not actually sleeping, but that I am dreaming. I think of this as my dreaming without sleep phase. This has been where I have spent most of the nights lately. I go to sleep, but I wake up and lucid dream for a while. The type of dreams varies from night to night. For example last night one of the dreams involved the book that I am listening to Fault in Our Stars. The other dream involved the Olsen sisters who live in NYC and I did not get to see on my last trip because they were travelling and we were moving. They are these beautiful young ladies that I have placed on a pedestal, as I prone to do, but they are a lot of fun. I do not remember specifics of this dream, but just that they both played a prominent role in it.
      My knee feels better. That is good. It is still sore and I am hoping tomorrow that I can go out and walk Scout. I am also hoping maybe to get out of the house and go to a coffee shop or library to get some work done. I really want to take the topic list from the Praxis and go over it and create a topic list of things that I need to look up and then look those things up. Mainly formulas and some other quick reminders.
      I finally got into my closet the pile of envelopes I need to go through. I started sorting them, but I still have half to do today. It is only 5:00pm so hopefully I will be able to finish this tonight and start doing something with them. Tomorrow another big goal of mine should be to start sending out more Wyzant inquiries.

    • 7/6/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      7/6/14

      So today was uneventful and pretty unproductive. We did go to a dog park with Scout and let him run around and play in the water. It was actually a lot of fun to see and pretty relaxing, but not much to talk about there. I am super tired and have not been sleeping well again. I have been waking up having to go the bathroom and not being able to go back to sleep at all. I am not sure what it is, but it has been like this since I got back from NYC. It is 9:05 right now and I am going to get ready for bed. I still need to wake up at 6:00am to let Scout out and feed him.
      Oh yeah! I hurt my fucking knee somehow. Really bad. I cannot walk bend it all basically. I have not clue what I did. It is my right knee which I hurt skiing a few years back, but it is hurting really bad right now. I might have stretched it too much during one of the stretches yesterday in yoga, but it only started hurting in the middle of the day while at the dog park and just got worse from there. Maybe I hurt it when I slipped on that rock, but that was my left foot I think. Maybe not. I have no clue.
      I did join a reading program with the Aurora library which involves me reading 6 books by July 16, or some date like that. I put the two I finished yesterday on there. I should be finishing FIOS soon. I am really enjoying that book. There are multiple instances when I think, "WOW that is exactly what I used to think about when I was a kid, except much less eloquently.' Well I am off to bed. Good night world.

    • 6/6/14

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      6/6/14

      Today was a productive day. I consolidated all of my federal loans. So that was great. I also looked into what I need to do for certification and made some progress there. I looked up practice stuff for the Praxis exam I am taking in 10 days. I caught up on two podcasts and I did some other stuff that was less important, but still productive. I need to keep it up.
      The other big thing that I did today was my workout. I use workout in the loosest sense because it did not feel like I did anything. I walked Scout for 3 miles this morning. He was not great on his walk, but not bad either. I then did a full hour of yoga in my room today. It was great. It consisted of a lot of lying on the ground and not doing much other than relaxing, something I am not good at. My back felt better almost immediately. When I first started I lying flat on my back my lower back did not touch the ground at all, but by the end it was. Not fully flat, but much better than it was before. I am looking forward to doing that some more.
      While I am thinking about it real quick let's make a quick list of things I should do this weekend. The first thing is help cleaning up around the house. I will do the frig tomorrow morning when I get back from the walk. I can then do floors tomorrow no problem. So that should be good there. I should also try that practice praxis exam. I also need to look into my private loans and look into consolidating them. So that is still a lot, but not a ton. I should maybe also try to print out all of the relevant teaching forms like the SOE tomorrow. SOE stands for Statement of Eligibility, which took me way too long to figure out. Because I am dumb and stuff. I partially blame the fact that we never use the letter "o' from "of' when making acronyms, but whatever.
      I am also almost done with Great Expectations, which I think I will try to finish tonight. I really like it, but it is the most Dickens novel of all of his novels I have read. I would not recommend starting out with this book for anyone looking to read Dickens. I love it, but I am crazy like that. I also finished Lolita on audiobook today. I will need a lifetime to a figure out all of the layers of that book, but I can still easily say that it is the single most beautifully written book I have ever read. I look forward to starting it again and perhaps I will actually read it this time. When I finished that I started The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I have been loosely following John Green and his brother Hank because they are pioneers and powerhouses of the internet as a source of community and entertainment. I follow them both on twitter and they have been talking a ton about the movie version of The Fault in Our Stars, which just come out today. I figured I wanted to read him so I might as well start here. Already in the first two pages it has already made a connection to me because I can really relate to being a teenager thinking of all of the things that she thinks of, minus the cancer of course. I guess you could replace it with suicidal thoughts, but either way I can still relate to how the character feels.
      I kind of want to write some more, but I think I am going to go read and go to bed. Also I am going to try to post this on the Roosterteeth sight and see how that goes.

    • 15/8//2013

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      I am currently in Breckenridge and I am busted. I am going to bed. I will just say that the workshop ending wonderfully and I am looking forward to sleeping in a bit tomorrow. I don't know if I will be able to with Mike's kids running around, but it should be fairly quiet where I am in their house. It is a beautiful house by the way. It is three stories with 5 bedrooms and I think there are 3 full baths. Crazy!!! It must have cost a fortune. Well me go sleepy bed now...

    • 8/13/2013 - Going to Breckenridge tomorrow

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      So the workshop was amazing again. It is a lot of fun. Afterwards most of us went back to the bed and breakfast where the participants were staying and we all hung out. It was a lot of fun. I like just sitting and hanging out with people. And hanging out with adults for once is REALLY nice. I was the youngest one there and actually the only one there that did not have kids. But we just talked about whatever. We talked about WWF for some odd reason. Craig had some crazy encyclopedic knowledge of useless wrestling facts. It was crazy. We talked movies and just for the most part shot the shit.

      The last day is tomorrow and as soon as we drop the participants off at the airport and their hotels Mike, Jason, Craig and I are going to go to Breckenridge where we will meet up with Mike's wife and kids. I am really looking forward to it. We have a TON of work that needs to be done. Be responsible for stuff is hard. It is weird to be put in charge of such an important project funded by the NSF. It is really cool, but it makes me feel too much like an adult. I guess that happens. Well I gotta get to bed.

    • 8/12/2013 - Math Education Workshop cont.

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      So I spent 14 or so hours helping to run that workshop today, but it was pretty awesome. I am super tired since I had problem getting to sleep last night so I only had about 5 hours or so of sleep, but I should be able to get close to 8 tonight so that is exciting.

      The best thing about doing this workshop is just watching people engage in mathematics, especially teachers. Teachers that want to learn the mathematics in a way so that they can teach it better. That is super exciting to watch and being able to share my experiences with them to help with is really rewarding. I am looking forward to tomorrow. I gotta get to bed. I will write about it in more detail when it is over.

    • 8/11/2013 - Math Education Workshop

      3 years ago

      robertraish

      This is going to be a short entry because I just got home at 11:00pm from a that started around 1:00pm. Yes it was Sunday and I had a 10 hour meeting. I mentioned that I am doing a workshop starting tomorrow training people to use a new curriculum so that is going to be consisting of 14-16 hour days. It will be great.

      I will just say a little bit about how great it was to be working with Mike and Jason, the other two people putting on the workshop with me. It is cool to be in a room where people listen to your opinions and respect what you say. It is even cooler when they are people you look up to and respect. I am really looking forward to the next few days because I get to interact with some awesome people who are really passionate about the same stuff as I am. It is super cool. I guess that is part of the reason that I have gravitated towards the rooster teeth community. We all share love for something even though none of us have ever meet and that is cool. That is something to talk about at a later today: sharing. Why do we enjoy the feeling of sharing things with others. I think I can rationalize it out, but that honestly is a little sad. I feel like I have to rationalize everything, but I don't. Something I should just accept and go with. Well I am going to get bed because I have to wake up in 6 hours.

      P.S. I have been listening to The Cure and I am kind of loving it.

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    • hobojim777 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      3 years ago

      hey how is it going?

    • hobojim777 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      3 years ago

      hello there, I haven't heard from you in awhile, how is it going?

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